


Ruby Red Heart

by emerald_psyche



Category: Free!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Drunken Kissing, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Sexual Content, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 16:23:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12536020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emerald_psyche/pseuds/emerald_psyche
Summary: He is kissing Rin, he is kissing his best friend from elementary school, the person he has wanted to kiss for over three years now-The pressure on his lips stops abruptly.He opens his eyes –when did he close them? -, and sees his best friend’s face scrunched up in confusion for a total of two seconds before Rin falls backwards on his pillow.In which Sousuke is pining big time, and Rin just makes it a thousand times worse.





	Ruby Red Heart

**Author's Note:**

> So, a little disclaimer: Both Rin and Sousuke (and the others as well) are aged-up. I don't know exactly in which point in their lives they are, but basically they're in university and share a dorm, or appartment. Point is, they're both over 18. Hope you enjoy!

Sousuke was both thankful for and regretting his decision to stay in tonight.

On the one hand, he doesn’t have to see Nanase’s face, considering the plan for tonight was for him, Rin, and the guys from Iwatobi to go to the club next to Nagisa’s house –because honestly, who else would be living next to a club? Furthermore, he doesn’t have to go through the horror known as _dancing,_ nor endure watching Rin getting hit on by anyone who has eyes and is attracted to males.

On the other hand, that is _exactly_ the problem. Even though Rin could definitely fend off any unwanted attention, leaving him alone still doesn’t sit particularly well with Sousuke.

 _Well,_ a voice in his head supplies helpfully, _he won’t be alone. The others will take care of him._

Great. Just what he needs, being alone with his thoughts and moping about Rin. As if he doesn’t do that often enough.

He sighs and checks his phone once again. Nagisa, who was sorely disappointed when Sousuke announced his decision to stay in for the night, had promised him an “unholy amount of selfies and photos of Rin, to see what you’re missing out on, Sou-chan!”

As expected, 17 notifications on snapchat and three text messages. Bracing himself, he opens the text messages first.

_“Sou-chan, see the latest selfies Rin and I got! *I bet you’ll regret not coming!*: D: D: D_

_“Souuuuuu-chan, check ur snapchat! We got some great selfiiiiies! ;)”_

_“Sou-chaaaaaan”_

 Sousuke rolls his eyes and opens his snapchat. The last ones he had seen were a(nother) selfie Nagisa had taken, with Rin and their drinks, and one were all five of them were smiling at the camera, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, Nanase looking unimpressed, as always. But, Sousuke had noted with a hint of dismay, Makoto had slung his arm around him (he was probably a little tipsy, as well, to be so open), and Nanase didn’t look particularly uncomfortable, having leant instead to Makoto’s touch. Huh.

The most recent pictures, though, are more Nanase-less -thank god-, and fortunately -or unfortunately, Sousuke thinks when he actually sees the pictures- a lot more Rin-focused. Rin, who looks completely hammered, and is dancing with one, two, _five_ different guys. Sousuke grits his teeth.

_He’s not yours. He’s your best friend, not your boyfriend. He can do whatever he wants with whomever he wants._

Sousuke still feels like he’s suffocating.

He skims through the other photos, opting not to cause himself any more unnecessary pain, except for the last one. His breath hitches.

Rin presumably stole Nagisa’s phone (why he hadn’t just used his own, Sousuke has no idea), took a selfie, and sent it to him.

It’s like a vice wraps around his chest. Rin looks downright _sinful_. His hair is a wild mess from dancing, and his eyes are glazed from the alcohol. It seems like he lost his shirt somewhere along the night, baring his collarbones and upper stomach to the camera. The fact that a few droplets of sweat from dancing have gathered at the dips of his clavicle does _nothing_ to help, instead making his skin glisten under the artificial lights. He’s giving Sousuke a smirk, showing off his teeth, and managing to look predatory and smug at the same time.

Sousuke chokes on his breath when he reads the caption.

_“miss u. wish u were here”_

Why, why, _why_ did he have to be hopelessly in love with his best friend?

He is spared from his self-pity when his phone comes to life. Looking at the caller, he can already feel a headache coming.

Nagisa.

He sighs again, mentally preparing himself for the blonde’s enthusiasm -which would no doubt be enhanced by the copious amounts of alcohol he’d have consumed- and picks up.

_“Souuuuu-chan!”_

It’s going to be a long phone call.

“Yes, Nagisa?”

 _“So, we just left the bar…”_ Nagisa drawls, _“…and we’re headed home! Isn’t it amazing?”_

“Yes, Nagisa, that’s great. Is Rin gonna crash with one of you, or are you bringing him now?” Sousuke questions after thinking they are probably too drunk to swing by. “Wait, if you’re all practically plastered, who’s driving? _Don’t tell me you’re driving drunk?!_ ”

He hears laughter at the end of the line, which isn’t very reassuring.

_“Oh, Sou-chan, you worry almost as much as Mamibana-I mean Mako-chan!”_

Sousuke scowls at that.

 _“Don’t worry, Rei-chan is driving. He had just a sip from my mimosa a few hours ago. Said he didn’t wanna drink, that buzzkill”_ Nagisa sulks.

 _“I can hear you Nagisa-kun, and I want you to know I am not, in fact a “buzzkill”, but instead I drink responsibly, and knew I would be the designated driver,”_ is heard through the phone. Sousuke chuckles, and starts talking again.

“Be thankful your boyfriend is a responsible human being, Nagisa, unlike the lot of you”

Sousuke’s comment is met with silence.

“Nagisa? You still there?”

_“Even RinRin?”_

If Sousuke wasn’t confused before, he definitely is now.

“Huh?”

 _“Even RinRin is unresponsible?”_ Nagisa wonders.

“You mean irresponsible.”

_“That.”_

“Yeah, of course he is.”

Silence once again.

_“REALLY?”_

“Oh my God, Nagisa, please don’t scream in my ear. Yes, of course Rin is irresponsible. Once, he challenged me to a race about who could eat the most slices of pizza when he had training the next day,” Sousuke reminisces.

_“Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about that.”_

“ _Anyway,_ ” Sousuke attempts to steer the topic away from irresponsibility and pizzas, “what did you call me for? What’s Rin going to do?”

Nagisa’s voice finds its usual chirpiness again. God, even when he’s drunk.

_“Actually, we’re bringing him over right now! We’ll be there in about…wait. Rei-chan, when are we going to get there?”_

There’s a brief pause, and then Nagisa’s voice is heard again. _“He says about 10 minutes. I should warn you though; Rin’s not feeling too hot right now”_

Sousuke feels his stomach drop.

“What happened? Is he okay? Did someone hurt him? I swear, if it was something serious, I’m never going to-” He stops abruptly as he hears Nagisa’s laughter from the end of the line.

 _“Oh, Sou-chan, you worry too much, honestly! No, no one hurt him, but he did have like…five too many shots of vodka,”_ Nagisa explains.

Sousuke relaxes, and a wave of annoyance washes over him.

“Couldn’t you guys have watched him more? You know how he thinks he can handle shot after shot, and you also know that he’s _terribly wrong,”_ he scolds.

 _“We know, we know!”_ Nagisa starts, _“and to be fair, we did keep an eye at him at first, but then he went to dance, and then, when he got back, he downed like, three shots of tequila.”_

Sousuke raises his eyebrows, even though Nagisa can’t see him.

“I thought it was vodka,” he growls through gritted teeth.

 _“Well yeah, but you know Rin’s relationship with tequila. It’s honestly not surprising, I love it as well, I mean I also kinda hate it because the way it just…”_ Nagisa begins rambling.

“Fine, whatever,” Sousuke cuts him off, already feeling his patience wear thin. “Just get him home safely.”

 _“Yeah, yeah, Sou-chan! He might puke though…”_ Nagisa hesitantly adds.

He pinches the bridge of his nose.

“What else is new?”

Nagisa giggles.

_“See you in five, Sou-chan!”_

 

After _seven_ agonizing minutes, he hears a knock on the door, and practically jumps from his bunk.

“Rin?” he inquires, but is met instead with a dizzy Nagisa on the porch.

“He’s…” Nagisa starts.

“Yeah?”

Nagisa points behind him.

“He’s over there with Makoto.”

Sousuke turns his gaze towards where Nagisa is pointing. Rin is tripping on his feet –or would be, if Makoto wasn’t holding him upright.

“…but you don’t get it, I don’t want to! You don’t know how it is!” he’s whining.

Makoto sighs heavily, and Sousuke guesses it isn’t for the first time tonight.

“Rin, we went over this, and I think you realize I know _exactly_ how you feel. I’m literally in the same situation, for crying out loud! C’mon, you have to get inside.” He points at Sousuke. “Look, Sousuke is waiting for you, so just go, okay?”

“Fine,” Rin replies dramatically, and saunters towards the front door. Or at least tries to, before his feet betray him and he stumbles.

In a flash, Sousuke is next to him, and catches him before he hits his head.

“Easy, Rin. We don’t want you getting a concussion,” Sousuke smirks. “After all, you already have enough brain damage as it is.”

Rin scoffs.

“Fuck off. And stop listing Pink Floyd songs to me. I know, like, all of them.”

“What?”

“Brain damage. By Pink Floyd,” Rin explains.

“Oh my god. You know what, I don’t even care, let’s just get you inside.” Sousuke turns towards the others. “You guys can go, I got it from here. Thanks for bringing him.”

Makoto looks hesitantly at Rin, who, after Sousuke’s dismissal of Pink Floyd, is frowning. “You sure you got it?” he asks skeptically.

Sousuke grins, and as he’s still holding Rin, forces his arms up, carrying him bridal-style.

“Hey!” Rin exclaims.

“Yeah, I got it. Goodnight guys!” Sousuke closes the door with his left hip, careful not to hurt Rin while doing so. He turns his gaze at him and smirks.

“Sorry, honey. You’re in no condition to walk”

Rin seems incredulous. “You don’t know that!”

“I watched you trip, like, three times in one hot minute.”

“Irrelevant.”

“Of course it is.”

Rin lets out a dramatic sigh.

“Fine, you can carry me-”

“Oh wow, thank you so much for giving me permission _while I’m already doing so_ , your Majesty-”

“-but take me to the bathroom first.”

Sousuke raises one eyebrow.

Rin’s face turns green.

“Sousuke, _now!”_ he yells, his tone now urgent.

Thankfully, Sousuke understands and sprints for the bathroom. Once they’ve passed the threshold, Rin leaps from his arms, grips the toilet seat, and promptly begins to empty his stomach of all its contents, breathing heavily from his nose.

Sousuke winces, and gathers the red hair in the nape of his best friend’s neck.

“Tha-Thank-” Rin’s thanks is cut off by a second wave of vomit rising to his throat, and Sousuke rubs his shoulders in sympathy.

Once he thinks Rin is done, he asks “You okay?”

Rin groans.

“I’ll take that as a yes. C’mon, let’s get you to bed.” Sousuke gently hoists him up from the toilet.

Rin stops him from walking any further.

“Wait, I gotta brush my teeth first.”

“Oh, yeah, go ahead.”

Sousuke sighs. The sooner he gets Rin to bed, the better. He’s seen Rin drunk enough times to know that his near soberness a few minutes ago was only due to the nausea he was feeling, but the vomiting hasn’t actually help get the alcohol out of his system, because it has probably already been absorbed.

“Sousuke, I’m bored.”

And, sure enough, drunk Rin is back just like that.

“I know, but I’m tired, let’s get you to sleep.” He grabs Rin by the hand, but is stopped once again.

“No! I wanna talk!”

Sousuke suppresses a groan. Drunk Rin _and_ talkative Rin. _Well, that’s just dandy._

“Alright. Let’s go sit on the bed and we’ll talk, okay?”

Rin makes a humming noise as agreement.

Making his way towards their bunk bed, Sousuke inquires, “So, how was tonight?”

He is probably digging his own grave by asking that, but since all his impulse control has gone into not letting Rin know about his feelings, he finds he simply doesn’t give a fuck.

“It was nice. Would have been better if you were there too, you cockbite.”

Sousuke gives him a disbelieving stare.

“Just nice? The selfies Nagisa, and _you_ , might I add, sent me say otherwise.” If he’s honest with himself, he was still not over that last goddamn picture. “ _miss u. wish u were here.”_

“Yeah, well, you know. We drank-”

“I can see that.”

“-we danced, even Haru too. It was nice.”

“Yeah, well, the picture Nagisa sent me with you dancing with what, five other guys suggests you had lots of _fun,_ ” Sousuke presses, unable to keep a shard of jealousy from his tone. Thankfully, Rin is far too drunk to pick up on it, and instead plops himself on his bunk. Sousuke takes a seat next to him, and Rin puts his legs on his lap.

“That? Yeah, I guess t’was nice. Wasn’t really interested, though,” Rin slurs.

Sousuke gives him a quizzical look, ignoring his heart fluttering.

“How come? They looked good, at least from the picture.”

God, why is he still talking? He should just take that Rin hadn’t been interested and be happy with it.

 “Yeah, they were pretty hot. I like someone else though.”

And just like that, the flutter in his heart dissipates.

“Oh,” he chokes out. “That’s great,” he adds, and a forceful smile makes its way to his face.

Rin has his eyes closed.

“Not really.” His eyes blink open as he pauses, looking mournfully at the covers. “I don’t think he likes me back so…” he trails off.

A mixture of emotions stirs in Sousuke. How could anyone not like Rin? How could anyone look at Rin and not see his face as one of the most beautiful sights on earth, with his sparkling eyes, and sharp teeth? How could-

Oh god. He will have to give his best friend love advice, he realizes belatedly. He will have to give his best friend, _with whom he is currently in love_ , relationship advice. Just his luck.

“You should give it a shot,” he finds himself saying, as if that isn’t hypocritical, coming from him. “Give it a shot,” he repeats, cursing himself inwardly, “and if he rejects you, one, he’s an idiot, and two, you can move on and set your sights on a new person.” If only he followed his own advice.

Rin looks at him in surprise, as if he didn’t expect Sousuke to be so serious. He nods solemnly.

“You’re right.”

And then, he does the most unpredictable thing in Sousuke’s mind.

He leans forward and kisses him.

The world slows down to a halt.

_Rin is kissing him._

_Oh my god. Oh my god, he’s kissing me._

It’s everything and nothing all at once. The pressure of Rin’s lips is so light it resembles the soft touch of a feather, yet Sousuke is completely overwhelmed.

  _His lips are soft,_ he thinks, _and warm, and I want him to kiss me forever._

Wait, why is _he_ not kissing back? He shifts forward on Rin’s bed, and puts a little more force on his lips, darting simultaneously his tongue out to taste Rin’s lips, which taste like vodka and mint, and that is somehow beyond perfect.

_He is kissing Rin, he is kissing his best friend from elementary school, the person he has wanted to kiss for over three years now-_

Rin shifts next to him, and, without breaking their kiss, swings one leg on Sousuke’s side, effectively straddling him.

Sousuke feels his blood catching fire.

_Oh god. He’s gonna be the death of me._

Rin continues kissing him, more forcefully, and Sousuke finds his hands settling on Rin’s slender waist. Rin separates their lips, and emits a breathless moan, which makes Sousuke’s pants tighten.

 _Oh_.

Maybe he should let Rin know about his feelings before they take things any further.

Rin reconnects their lips in an open-mouthed kiss, and he is getting more and more desperate, like a drowning man finding a stray piece of wood and struggling to stay afloat.

_But what if he ruins this?_

_Bullshit,_ his brain supplies. _He said he liked someone and then immediately kissed you. It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together._

_But what if he’s just using me to forget about this guy?_

No. Rin wouldn’t do that.

Well. _Sober_ Rin wouldn’t do that, but drunk Rin probably needs some sort of outlet for his emotions.

The Rin on his lap, however, seems to be –thank god- oblivious to the debate going on inside his head, nibbling instead on Sousuke’s lips, and looking _very_ eager.

He starts tugging at his shirt, and as much as Sousuke wants to let him continue, he comes to a decision.

It’s now or never.

“Rin,” he pants, a little breathlessly, once their lips part once again, “I gotta tell you something.”

“Mmhm, no. Less talking, more kissing.” Rin’s protest sounds more like a puppy whining than a demand, and god, does Sousuke want to listen to him.

“Yeah, you’ll have to wait, because this is very- mmhm!” Rin shuts him up by planting his lips against Sousuke’s once again, tugging simultaneously at his hair, and Sousuke’s resolve chips away like cheap paint.

He gets ready to interrupt Rin once again and tell him, but the pressure on his lips stops abruptly.

He opens his eyes –when did he close them? -, and sees his best friend’s face scrunched up in confusion for a total of two seconds before Rin falls backwards on his pillow.

Wait, what?

“Rin?” Sousuke asks.

No response. Rin seems completely out of it.

_Fuck._

Sousuke looks at him, dumbfounded, his brain scrambling to piece everything together.

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

_Well, he’s drunk. Technically, it’s not exactly his fault._

_Fuck._

Okay. Okay. First things first, Rin kissed him. Passionately. While drunk.

Not only that, he had gotten _on his lap_ –Sousuke looks down for evidence, and, sure enough, he has another issue right now-, and Rin probably would have started grinding on him, if he hadn’t stopped him.

But there is also the option of Rin just wanting to forget about his crush, or whatever _that_ was.

_I’m screwed._

Sousuke shakes his head, as if that will get rid of all his inner turmoil and of the emotions that churn violently in his stomach.

 _One problem at a time,_ he thinks.

He is too tired right now, both emotionally and physically, to try and make sense of this situation. His decision that this can wait until the morning will probably come back and bite him in the ass, but he just doesn’t care anymore.

He gets up from Rin’s bunk, careful not to hit his head, and skids to the bathroom. After locking the door, he pulls his pants down his ankles, not even bothering to step out of them, and leans against the wall.

When two shining, ruby red eyes make their way into his head, the feeling of guilt eating him from the inside out is stronger than usual.

Upon returning to the room, he finds Rin turned to his side, wearing a peaceful expression. His lips are slightly parted –and Sousuke suppresses a snort when he catches sight of a little bit of drool at the corner of his mouth- and a few tufts of maroon hair fall on his face. A fond smile tugs at Sousuke’s lips. He pushes Rin’s hair out of his eyes, and, upon noting his friend is only wearing his outfit of the night –jeans and a tank top that after clubbing is inside out-, he grabs a blanket from the drawer and drapes it over him, careful not to wake him up.

He climbs on his bed and promptly falls asleep.

 

When Sousuke wakes up, for a few moments his brain is blissfully calm of any thoughts.

And then last night comes crashing down, as well as the memory of Rin’s lips, and suddenly there’s a hand seizing his neck, rendering him unable to breathe.

He shuts his eyes, and forces himself to breathe through the nose, while trying to slow down his now racing heartbeat to its normal rhythm.

After more than a few minutes, he manages to convince himself that everything is fine and he is calm enough to get out of bed. Figuring Rin is still asleep, he doesn’t bother with a shirt, and groggily stumbles to the kitchen for his fix of morning coffee.

Instead of an empty, dark room, he is met with bright red hair, which makes him freeze on the spot.

Rin turns around swiftly, and the coffee in his mug sloshes dangerously. His eyes widen as he takes notice of Sousuke’s appearance, and he is quick to take a sip to mask his blush.

Sousuke clears his throat, now completely awake.

“Good morning.”

The bitterness of the coffee – he forgot the sugar, dammit – burns down Rin’s throat as he swallows, and he leaves his mug on the counter.

“Morning. There’s coffee in the pot if you want.”

Sousuke grumbles a thanks, and makes a beeline for the counter. As he is turned around, he misses Rin’s eyes roaming over his naked back and the emotion simmering in them. He decides to err on the safe side, gauging first the situation, and the potential damage.

“How’re you feeling? You were pretty shitfaced yesterday.”

Rin tears his eyes away when Sousuke turns around, his own mug now filled nearly to the brim with steaming coffee.

“Surprisingly, it’s not that bad. I mean, when I woke up I had a mean headache, but I took some painkillers, and it’s pretty much fine now.” He smirks. “I think last night’s puking helped, actually.”

Sousuke’s face twists in distaste.

“Ugh, don’t remind me that. It _was_ pretty gross, you know.”

“I know,” Rin answers in a sing-song voice. “But what are best friends for, if not holding their friend’s hair while he vomits?”

Sousuke snorts.

“So you remember pieces from last night. Impressive, considering the amount of alcohol the guys told me you drank.”

No sooner than when the words leave his mouth does he realize what this means.

Rin might remember their kiss.

A sliver of hope is tugging at one side of his heart and dread is punching away the other.

Rin’s hesitance is clear in his eyes, yet his voice is unwavering.

“Yeah, I do. Maybe we should talk about last night.”

Sousuke chokes on his sip of coffee, and Rin immediately backtracks.

“Or not, you know, we could just ignore it if you want to, that’s totally fine by me-”

Sousuke cuts off his rambling.

“Rin?”

“Hm?”

“Shut up.”

Rin makes an indignant sound, but falls silent.

“I do think we should talk about it,” Sousuke adds. He sets his mug on the counter, next to Rin’s, and watches the dark liquid swirl around, and the movement mirrors whatever it is he’s been feeling since last night. “You just caught me off guard, that’s all. But yeah, um, I think we should definitely talk about it.”

Rin lets out a long breath, and relief washes over his features. “Good. That’s good.”

He looks at Sousuke expectantly, who comes to the belated realization that Rin wants him to talk first.

Oh _, hell no._

When he voices his refusal, Rin huffs.

“Oh, come on! And why should I be the one that speaks first, hm?”

Sousuke raises his eyebrows and simply stares at Rin, looking unimpressed.

“I hate to remind you this, but you’re the one that...initiated it.”

At his proclamation, Rin’s face turns redder than his hair, which, Sousuke must admit, is an impressive feat, and Rin turns his gaze towards the floor, as if it could save him from his impending doom. After a few beats of utter silence, he tears his eyes from it, and murmurs:

“Fine. I’ll go first.”

He inhales deeply, trying to draw courage from the air filling his lungs.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes out.

In retrospect, maybe Sousuke should have expected an apology, but now, to say he is surprised is an understatement.

“What?”

Rin looks at anywhere but him.

“I’m sorry, okay? I don’t…I was drunk, and yeah, I know that’s not an excuse, but it was really a heat of the moment thing, which is an even shittier excuse than “I was drunk”, and…yeah, I’m sorry I kinda started sucking your face off…”

Rin’s voice has started trembling, and the sound reminds Sousuke of flower petals wavering in the wind.

Before he has a chance to reply, because he owes Rin that much, his best friend has resumed his rambling.

“…and yeah, I know it’s not that terrible, it’s not like you’re straight...”

Sousuke laughs quietly at that.

“…but still, I technically did do that without consent or anything-”

“Rin?

He looks at Sousuke, his eyes resembling those of a startled deer.

“You should let me talk too, maybe. Don’t make the conservation one-sided.” He laughs again, and all the tension from before dissolves in the atmosphere.

Rin curls a half-mocking smirk and makes an exaggerated gesture at Sousuke to talk.

“Please, your Majesty,” he throws Sousuke’s words back at him from last night when Sousuke had carried him.

So he remembers that, too.

Sousuke clears his throat.

“Listen, you really don’t have to worry. Like you said, it’s not like I‘m going to have any sexuality freak-outs, and most importantly, I don’t plan on letting a small thing like that ruin our friendship. I’m cool with what happened.”

If hypocrisy was a sport in the Olympics, Sousuke would have won the gold medal a long time ago.

“And,” he continues, ignoring his brain screaming at him, “you were drunk, and I know you just did that to distract yourself from your crush-”

Rin’s eyes flash dangerously.

“Wait,” he interrupts Sousuke, and his voice is not trembling anymore, but instead resembles a knife’s edge, “That’s what you think it was?”

Sousuke’s blood freezes and all the playfulness in the air fades away.

“Huh?” he manages to get out.

“I get drunk,” Rin starts, moving closer to him like a predator, and Sousuke thinks he might have fucked up.

“I get drunk, and lose all my inhibitions, and I kiss you like I’m fucking dying, and nearly _start dry humping you,_ ” Sousuke winces at that, and Rin’s voice drops to a whisper, “and you think I did it to get over my ‘crush’?”

Rin’s face is contorted into a mask of pain and anger, and Sousuke can feel himself getting riled up, because Rin has _no right to say that, he’s not the one that has had to endure being hopelessly in love with his best friend for three goddamn years, he’s not the one-_

“What was I supposed to think, Rin? You got drunk, you lost control of your actions, you kissed me, _whatever!_ You just did what you always do, you acted without thinking first!”

Rin flinches at his remark, but Sousuke’s dam has been torn down, and years’ worth of frustration and unrequited love, and _pining, goddammit_ , just come pouring out.

“I’m not gonna hold it against you, or be weirded out, or anything like that, so let it go! You were just drunk!” He takes a deep breath, and tries to ground himself, gripping the counter like his life depends on it.

“You were just drunk,” he repeats, because that’s the bitter truth, and there’s not a single fucking thing he can do about it.

Rin’s laugh is much too dark for their small kitchen.

“You’re denser than I thought.”

Sousuke is too exhausted to try and decipher the words, so he just lets out a tired, “What?”

Rin tucks a few stray tufts of hair behind his ear, and Sousuke’s eyes, no matter how worn down he feels, cannot help but follow the movement.

“I’m not drunk now,” he exclaims, and before Sousuke can ask him _what the fuck are you talking about,_ Rin has stridden over to him and clashed their lips together.

As Rin lifts his arms and cradles his face, Sousuke has a moment of clarity.

_So he does like me._

 His chest swells like a balloon at the thought, and he feels ready to float away from the euphoria coursing through his veins.

Putting his arms around Rin’s waist again, mirroring his actions from last night, Sousuke can’t help but hug him closer, as if he’s afraid he will drift away from him.

_This marvelous creature is all mine._

He can’t help but grin like an idiot at the thought, breaking their kiss.

Rin looks out of breath, and his eyes shine brighter than usual.

“I love you.”

Rin looks at everything but him when he says it, and as Sousuke kisses his forehead, he thinks it’s strange, how one phrase makes his heart stop and start again.

 “I love you too. Have for a few years now, you know,” he laughs quietly.

Rin’s eyes widen, and he tilts his head to the side, reminding Sousuke of a puppy.

“Years?”

Oops.

Sousuke scratches the back of his head with one hand, the other still glued to Rin’s waist because he does _not_ want to let go, and looks sheepishly at the floor.

“Yeah, um… I think it’s been around three years.”

When he straightens up, Rin appears to be impressed, contrary to weirded out, which is what Sousuke expected, and he starts softly stroking his dark hair.

“Wow. I…My feelings shifted to romantic ones…I think it was around a year ago?” He shrugs and leans in Sousuke’s chest. “I think I always loved you though. You’re grounding me, in a way, and you’re one of the few constant things in my life. Even when I left for Australia, I was always thinking about you when things got hard.”

He’s pouring his heart out, and Sousuke is not sure if he’s good enough to be in the receiving end of it, but in the end he decides _it doesn’t matter_ because Rin _loves_ him, and flips them around, so that Rin’s lower back is now hitting the counter. Rin yelps at the sudden movement, and Sousuke takes the chance to meet his lips in an open-mouthed kiss, smirking while doing so.

“Ass,” Rin scoffs, but there’s no real bite to it, and Sousuke’s smirk would stretch for miles if it wasn’t busy exploring Rin’s mouth.

“Mhmm.” In a burst of confidence -and because all he can think about is Rin’s lips-, he grips his waist tighter, and hoists him up on the counter.

Rin doesn’t seem at all perturbed by this, and instead goes with it, smiling into the kiss and pulling Sousuke between his legs. He can feel the blood roaring in his ears, and he grips Rin tighter, holding him impossibly closer.

They’re both startled by the sudden _clank_ Sousuke’s coffee mug makes as it’s knocked over from the counter.

“Whoops,” Rin sings, not sounding the least bit sorry. Sousuke tears his eyes from the small disaster –cleaning up the shards _and_ the spilled liquid will undoubtedly be a pain- and takes in Rin. He looks heavenly, with his before neat hair now plastered to his forehead from the sweat that has already formed, Sousuke notes with a hint of pride, and his rapidly moving chest, as he’s struggling to catch his breath. He looks absolutely delectable, and Sousuke feels the arousal spilling over his very existence like melted chocolate.

His reaction, however, doesn’t go unnoticed by the very object of his desire, and before jumping from the counter and sauntering outside, Rin gives him a teasing smirk.

“C’mon. I don’t feel like desecrating the kitchen, we eat here.”

Sousuke’s eyebrows nearly disappear in his hairline, but he follows Rin nonetheless.

“Desecrate, huh? Look at you, using all the fancy words.”

“Shut up.”

Sousuke decides to toy with him a little.

“Make me.”

As if he was expecting an answer like that, Rin turns his entire body around and after taking hold of his hair, locks their lips together, and nibbles on his bottom lip, making Sousuke weak in the knees.

They make their way to the bedroom like that, kissing desperately, two people in the desert that have found water on each other’s lips, and when the back of Rin’s knees hits the bed, Sousuke doesn’t let go, falling instead on top of him.

Rin chuckles at that, light-hearted mockery shining through, and Sousuke swallows the sound with his mouth. He takes advantage of the new position and slips his hands under Rin’s shirt, who lets out a high-pitched whine as Sousuke’s fingers start dancing on his skin.

As much as it pains him to do so, Sousuke pulls his mouth away from Rin’s, and waits for him to open his eyes before speaking, and he inwardly cringes at how timid he sounds.

“You...You want this, right?”

Before he even has the time to blink, Rin has flipped him over so that he’s now straddling him, and god, the added pressure on his groin is just _delicious_.

 _“Yes.”_ Sousuke searches his eyes for any trace of hesitation, and when he finds nothing but certainty, he feels like his stomach is about to explode from all the butterflies.

Rin decides to make things easier _–or harder-_ for him when he takes off his shirt in one fluid movement, and Sousuke is quick to let his eyes drink him in and his hands roam everywhere. After giving him a quick peck, Sousuke sits up to remove his own shirt, tossing it carelessly to the side, and when Rin has pushed him back down, instead of kissing him again like Sousuke expected him to, he lets his lips brush over his jaw, his neck, his clavicle. His mouth reaches the scar tissue on his shoulder –a brutal reminder of the surgery he was subjected to-, which makes him nearly melt on the spot, and as Rin ventures even lower, he is positive he has ascended to heaven.

He is literally _snapped_ out of his reverie from Rin playing with the elastic of his boxers, wearing a shit-eating grin while doing so, and he just looks at him through narrowed eyes.

“Rin.”

“Sousuke.” Rin quips, parodying his stern tone with mirth shining in his eyes. Sousuke huffs, but straightens up to give him a lingering kiss. When they break apart for air, his voice is a soft whisper.

“Don’t tease.”

Rin scoots lower on his legs, letting his hand rest on Sousuke’s groin.

He raises his eyebrows, and Rin just smiles innocently at that.

“If you can’t stand the heat,” Rin says in a suggestive tone, “ _then get out of the kitchen.”_ He grips Sousuke’s crotch, and he groans, partly because _shit, that feels good,_ but also because Rin is just _so damn cheesy._

“Technically we left the kitchen a while ago, you know.”

It’s now Rin’s turn to groan and while he’s distracted rolling his eyes, Sousuke flips them over once again.

“Don’t tease,” he repeats, deliberately letting his voice drop to a husky tone, “because I’m not sure I will fucking last, and I want to have you forgetting your own name by the time I’m done with you.”

Rin’s eyes widen, his mouth parting slightly in what can only be described as arousal, and Sousuke can feel his _other_ arousal poking his leg.

“Yeah, okay,” he croaks, and Sousuke feels a satisfied smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

He makes quick work of getting Rin’s pants off, chucking them aside like he did with his shirt, and after looking at Rin -who has already started blushing- for permission, he slowly drags his boxers down his slender legs.

He starts kissing his thighs, putting his tongue everywhere except _there_ , but Rin sits up and, lifting Sousuke’s chin with his index and middle fingers, murmurs, “I thought we said no teasing.” Rin gives him a once-over, and adds, “Besides, it’s kind of unfair how I’m fully naked and you still have your underwear on.”

He suppresses a chuckle at that, but complies with Rin’s unvoiced request nonetheless, and when he’s finally bared himself to the person he loves the most, he can’t help but let his lips ghost over the column of Rin’s throat, sensing the racing but powerful pulse underneath the skin.

“Rin?”

A whine that makes his skin impossibly hotter is the only answer he gets.

“Where do you keep, um…” he starts, before trailing off awkwardly, not sure how to approach the subject.

“Lube and condoms are in the nightstand, first drawer,” comes a lazy reply.

Well, at least one of them is straightforward.

As he stretches to open the drawer, his cock brushes Rin’s, and they both groan at the contact that is nothing and everything all at once.

After Sousuke coats his fingers with lube, which feels colder in the morning air, he makes a gesture at Rin, who, even though his cheeks have taken a rosy hue, parts his legs in a silent invitation.

When the first finger pushes past the tight ring of muscle and Sousuke adds another, curling them and playing around to find what he’s looking for, he can’t help admiring Rin in his current debauched state, looking both sinful and angelic at the same time.

Rin’s voice breaks him out of his trance.

“You can put a third one in, you know, I’m not gonna break.”

He rolls his eyes at that, but obeys nonetheless and when he twists his wrist in a come-hither motion, the loud moan that rips from Rin’s throat and tapers off the walls around them is like a hymn in Sousuke’s ears.

He decides to toy with Rin, just a little bit, and brushes his fingers against the little bundle of nerves while simultaneously ignoring his cock, something that makes Rin whimper, but after a few minutes of dragging him towards the edge, yet not making the final leap, he finds himself growing impatient. Rin senses it too –or maybe he’s just had enough of his teasing, Sousuke isn’t sure- and shifts their positions.

“You mind if I ride you?” The gleam in Rin’s eyes tells Sousuke he already knows the answer, but he responds all the same.

_“Please do.”_

Rin just smirks and Sousuke can only fist the sheets in response when a stray hand grabs his neglected cock.

From nothing short of a miracle, Sousuke remembers the fucking condom lying somewhere next to him and after a few moments of blindly grabbing for it, he tosses it haphazardly to Rin, who only raises his eyebrows and puts his best _really?_ face on in response.

“Would you like to do the honors, your Majesty?” Sousuke teases him, and Rin just flicks him on the forehead, but rolls on the condom nonetheless. It seems, however, that after Sousuke taunting him, he’s out for revenge.

“Rin,” Sousuke manages to get out in a somewhat warning tone when Rin starts trailing his fingers up and down his length, but the asshole just smirks.

“Fine.” At that, he just grips him tighter, making Sousuke’s abdominal muscles clench, and sinks down on him in one smooth, fluid motion that has them both crying out.

Nearly breaking under pressure, Sousuke takes his hands that were gripping the sheets just moments earlier and places them on Rin’s waist, _attempting_ to be gentle.

“Rin, _move,_ ” is all that is heard through his gritted teeth, and when Rin simply grinds down on his lap, he decides _fuck it._

He starts thrusting relentlessly and catches Rin off-guard, who throws his head back and digs his fingernails on Sousuke’s abs, causing him to grunt in response from the pleasure toeing on the line of pain.

“I th-thought…hah,” Rin stutters, short of breath, “that you were gonna let me be in charge – _AH!_ ” He stumbles over his words at a particularly hard snap of Sousuke’s hips.

Sousuke makes an effort to keep his voice steady and unaffected, but oh god, Rin is clenching so tightly around him.

“ _I was,_ but you weren’t really doing anything so.”

Rin finds his usual smug tone in the blink of an eye, and he gives Sousuke a lingering, sensual kiss while placing his hands on his hips to stop them from bucking.

“Well, what’s the rush, baby? We’ve got all day ahead of us,” he coos.

Sousuke casts his pride a side, now desperate. “You’re torturing me and you know it.”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not loving it,” Rin retorts, punctuating each syllable by grinding on him, and Sousuke just smiles fondly.

“I do. But please…I’ve waited for this for so long…I can’t…” he stutters out, fruitlessly trying to string his thoughts together, but thankfully Rin understands him, and just nods, kissing him once again.

“Yeah, I understand. Alright.”

He throws a loving gaze towards his way, and Sousuke can feel all the aggressive energy the air was teeming with just moments prior dissipate like the bubbles in the fizzy drinks Rin loves.

Rin starts making slow, deliberate movements, letting Sousuke savor the intimacy that links them together, and keeps going, carving out their path to euphoria.

When Rin clenches around him, he can feel himself getting closer and closer to his peak, but wills himself to go _harder, faster,_ because all he wants is for Rin to finish with him.

A drawn out moan tells him Rin’s not very far away, and his mind barely registers the words, too clouded from the desire searing his veins.

“Sou…Sou, I’m close, I-”

He surges forward, capturing Rin’s mouth with his own, and his voice is barely a whisper.

“I know, honey, I know…let go, just let go for me…”

He’s so close to bursting, but he uses his final ounces of stamina to make Rin topple over that edge, and only when his lover finishes with a scream that he wants to hear for the rest of his life, painting his chest white, does Sousuke finally let go, completely surrendering to the pleasure surrounding them.

When Rin gets off and collapses next to him, he makes a wordless, half-hearted complain at the loss of heat but Rin just pulls him tighter, leaning his head on his shoulder, and Sousuke carefully rolls off the condom and tosses it into the bin next to the bed.

For a few moments, they lie there, basking in the blissful aftermath of their actions, relishing each other’s warmth, and Sousuke lazily strokes Rin’s hair, something that makes him nearly purr.

“I…”Sousuke starts, trying to put into words what he’s feeling right now, but he finds it impossible, like trying to reach the stars. But then again, most of the time before this he felt like wishing for Rin was wishing for the stars, heartbreakingly unattainable.

“I know. That was…incredible.” Rin sighs contently, the fatigue evident in his tone.

“Mmhm.”

Rin pecks him on the cheek and mutters, “I’ll be right back.”

Sousuke looks at him quizzically but eventually just shrugs, too tired to care, and closes instead his eyes.

A few moments later, he feels something cold brushing his chest, and when he leisurely opens his eyes, he is met with Rin cleaning his skin with a wet rag. His heart swells from how considerate, how _loving_ Rin is being.

“Thanks”, he murmurs.

Rin just kisses him as an answer, throwing the rag aside after he’s done, and climbs to the bed to cuddle more.

“Can I ask you something?” Sousuke says, remembering suddenly the events of last night.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

“When the guys got you home last night, what were you talking about with Makoto when you said that he didn’t understand how you felt? I’m not jealous or anything,” he explains quickly, lest his intentions be misunderstood, “it’s just honest curiosity.”

“Oh, that?” Rin laughs absent-mindedly. “It’s quite funny, really. Basically, after getting shitfaced last night-”

“And dancing with five other guys.”

Rin gives him a flat stare and continues.

“-I started moping about you-”

“You stooped so low? I’m impressed.”

“-to Makoto, and he was telling me he was in the same situation with Haru. That’s what he meant when he said he knew exactly what I felt.”

“Oh, okay. Really though?” Sousuke asks, unable to stop himself.

“What?”

“Why would someone like Nanase?”

“Oh my god, shut up.” Rin throws a pillow to his face, and Sousuke just laughs.

“Haru actually likes him as well, but we all know he’s not gonna take the first step, and Makoto is a fucking chicken.”

“Maybe you should encourage him.”

“Mmhmm, I will. Not today, tough.”

A few beats of silence pass, and Sousuke traces Rin’s lips with his thumb, smiling.

“I love you.”

Rin beams, and wraps his arms around him.

“I love you too.”

Sousuke kisses the top of Rin’s head, inhaling the familiar scent of Rin’s shampoo that lingers, and wordlessly pulls him closer to his chest.

Maybe the stars weren’t so heartbreakingly unattainable after all.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr: https://emerald-psyche.tumblr.com/


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